On your marks, set, BOLTBAND

This is no April 1st skit; Virgin Media are seriously considering renaming their new 50Mb super-fast broadband product after Jamaican running sensation Usain Bolt.

The sprinter, who is to athletics what Rupert Murdoch is to news publishing, looks set to sign a rights deal with Virgin Media which will lead to a creation of the ‘Boltband’ brand.

Whether Virgin Media will offer mobile boltband, wireless boltband and set up a separate boltband customer service helpline has yet to be divulged. News on potential bespoke boltband dongles is also scarce.

Our man Bolt, 22, took the gold medal in the men’s 100m and 200m finals in Beijing this week, setting world record times in both events. Had Tyson Gay taken the sprint crown, then we could have been looking at a very interesting endorsed broadband product indeed. Gayband, anyone?

The rollout of Virgin Media’s 50Mbps service on its fibre optic network will take place during the middle part of next year; with the cablenet ISP looking to offer its customers speeds of 200Mbps by 2012.

The Broadband Olympics

At a time when ISPs seem hell bent on alienating customers with false promises, restricted services and hidden charges, it’s so refreshing to see a progressive and forward thinking ISP putting their customers first for a change.

Building on a respectable second place in the Broadband Choices Spring/Summer speed test awards (with an average speed delivery of 4.86 Mbps), O2 have been awarded the two most coveted prizes at the Top 10 Broadband awards.

Claiming gongs for fastest broadband and customer satisfaction, O2’s exemplary customer service and delivery on its promises were cited as the driving force behind the awarding of these prizes.

Additional accolades were handed out to the following:

Best Mobile Broadband Provider: 3 Mobile

Best Wireless Broadband: BT

Small ISP Award: Plusnet

Best Short Contract Provider: AOL

Best Value: TalkTalk

Best Bundle: Virgin Media

Best Gaming Broadband: Be Broadband

Best Student Broadband: Vodafone

While I’d agree with most of these, there are a few winners and categories I take exception to.

First up, I don’t think Plusnet can still be referred to as a ‘small ISP’. Having celebrated its 11th birthday this year and being steered ‘hands on’ by BT, this no longer constitutes a ‘small ISP’ in my eyes. The prize should have gone to either Zen or Karoo, with Plusnet rightfully pitched against the big boys.

Secondly, how can AOL, with typical minimum contract lengths of 18 to 24 months, be considered a genuine contender for best short contract provider? The marketing team up at AOL must be delighted, and more than just a little surprised. Short-term contracts are where Plusnet comes into its own, and I think this should have been recognised.

Finally, in the student broadband category, O2 were unlucky to miss out on a third gong. Their policy of rewarding existing mobile phone customers with discounted premium broadband packages is an attractive prospect to students, particularly those in shared households where broadband connections are heavily strained and compromised.

One last thought, what happened to Sky and Tiscali?

 BT’s ‘High Fibre’ Diet

BT’s declaration to supply super-fast fibre networks to 10 million homes by 2012 has caused much consternation and speculation in the telecoms sector.

A number of major players have backed BT’s incentive, but questioned its motives where market share is concerned.

Will your ISP adopt this new technology, or be left lagging behind? Here’s a round up of how four leading ISPs reacted to the prospect of superfast 100Mb networks, and described their level of participation in this movement.

O2 Broadband

O2 is tentatively considering the option of supplying 100Mb to homes via BT’s proposed fibre network, but needs concrete promises from BT before it gets the cheque book out.

An O2 spokesperson told ZDnet.co.uk the following:

“We need clear and unambiguous regulation in place before we start shelling out huge sums of money.”

Be Broadband

Be Broadband’s Oli White is similarly wary of a BT monopoly, but would be glad to hop on board given the necessary assurances.

He told BroadbandChoices:

“If BT follows the same model as we have in place now it will allow Be to offer more than 20meg broadband to far more than the existing 6% of the population. But if BT is allowed to take advantage of its monopolistic position and prevent ISPs like Be from delivering an exceptional service to customers, it will be a missed opportunity.”

Virgin Media

In terms of delivering super-fast broadband, Virgin Media has a two year head start on BT and will introduce a 50Mb service within the next few months.

Despite the ‘head to head’ nature of its relationship with BT, Virgin Media is, at the very least, backing BT’s intentions. A Virgin Media spokesperson had the following to say:

“We strongly support BT’s call for a stable regulatory environment that rewards both current and future investment. We will continue working closely with Ofcom and the government to achieve this.”

Sky

Sky went on the front foot by challenging Ofcom to maintain the competitive climate in the broadband sector. A Sky spokesman said:

“BT has much to offer but consumers will lose out if the right conditions are not in place to allow other providers to compete effectively.”

Ofcom replied by assuring Sky and other providers it will provide additional regulatory detail following BT’s announcement, based on providing the right incentives for operators to invest. Additionally, Ofcom pledged to publish a more detailed proposal for the regulatory framework in September.

  ‘We’re here to liberate your wireless router’

The common vigilante has, historically, been associated with an assortment of activities, ranging from reducing street crime and helping the elderly cross the road, to overthrowing governments, liberating suppressed communities and forming independent states.

However, a new, sophisticated breed of online vigilante is emerging, and if I told you that they reside on such sites as orangeproblems.co.uk and talktalkhell.wordpress.com, you might get an immediate feel for what I’m trying to describe.

The dawn of the ISP vigilante is among us, and these guys make the Cuban neighbourhood militias look like your local cub pack.

Having visited these sites myself, I was taken aback not only by the extreme, terrifying and contemptuous wrath some consumers reserve for their ISPs, but also the depth of information included therein.

As a one-stop remedy shop for all your ISP glitches, you need not look any further. Therefore, if you’re having no luck whatsoever with your ISP’s standard customer helpline, why not venture into a dedicated forum and see if you can find the solution to your problem there? The TalkTalkHell site gives ample information regarding difficulties with e-mail services, USB issues and DNS problems. They’ll also furnish you with direct phone numbers that allow you to bypass the usual human barriers in call centres.

Another added incentive, of course, is the opportunity these sites afford you to bitch, gripe and moan about your ISP while, at the same time, learning how to fix that problem router. Let’s not underestimate the ‘eureka’ factor either, when you realise there are another 75 people (in the south Loughbrough region alone) experiencing exactly the same problems as you.

I love a good moan, who doesn’t? Make mention to Andriy Shevchenko at the wrong time of day and I’ll go on for hours (and possibly end up punching myself in the face). The Virgin Media vigilante blog (cablehell.com, naturally), dishes out some of the best slatings I’ve read for many a year, some of these people can really write.

There are right and wrong ways to enter into formal complaints procedures though, and we’ve discussed this issue on Broadband Choices many times. Perhaps vigilante sites work best as an area to vent your spleen and relieve some of the frustration before calling your ISP and lodging a complaint. As we all know, screaming down the phone will get you nowhere.

Across all these sites, disgruntled users seem to have beef with three major issues, which arise time and time again:

(1)   Advertised speeds not matching their own received speeds

(2)   Customer Services offering inaccurate and unhelpful information

(3)   The current hot topic, fair usage policies and the cost of downloading beyond your allotted amount.

For those wishing to sock it to the man, take a step into this world. You never know, you just might make a difference.

If a more sanguine, mild-mannered rant is your bag, then get yourself over to the Broadband Choices reviews area.