Is there a credit crunch on?
36% of Britons believe the credit crunch is no more than a media perpetuated myth, so I present to you the top ten ways to bury your head in the sand and pretend the credit crunch isn’t happening.
Follow this guide and you could lose yourself a cool half million.
Alternatively, follow the credit crunch friendly route and save hundreds. The choice is yours:
1. Buy a Mercedes CL Class – Procuring a brand new Mercedes CL Class should set you back around £80,000. Then there’s the £5500 yearly petrol cost, the £3500 annual maintenance fees, the £7500 a year insurance, and the five year depreciation of £37,000.
*Credit Crunch friendly alternative: Buy a bicycle, car pool with colleagues or (whisper it) walk.
2. Shop at Fortnum and Mason – Do you feel like going to the park this weekend and indulging yourself in a nice picnic? Well, Fortnum and Mason hampers start at £100 for the ‘al fresco’ edition, climbing all the way to £300 for the ‘Kensington’. What’s more, the horse drawn carriage delivery service is very reasonable.
*Credit Crunch friendly alternative: Wait until the end of the day, and then buy your bread from the supermarket when it’s being reduced.
3. Only wear bespoke suits – Alexander Boyd tailoring, under the watchful eye of former Gieves and Hawkes master cutter Clive Phythian, begins its bespoke price range at £1800. A suit for each day of the working week, plus an evening suit for special occasions, will whistle to the tune of £11,500.
*Credit Crunch friendly alternative: Sainsbury’s, George at Asda, Primark, TK Maxx. On every High St you’ll find an outlet offering clothing at discount prices.
4. Invest in Yahoo - Yahoo stock has plunged since the internet giant announced Microsoft had definitively abandoned its pursuit of the company. Shares plummeted by 12% on the day of the announcement, and have fallen steadily in the period since. Invest in Yahoo today and lose thousands, instantly.
*Credit Crunch friendly alternative: Ride out the credit crunch with a sturdy and durable savings account from Icesave or Halifax. Due to flat markets in other banking sectors, it’s never been a better time to be a saver.
5. Download a US TV series on your phone in Germany - Did you hear the one about a guy who downloaded four episodes of Friends to his phone while in Germany, then received a bill for over £11,000 from Vodafone? Yes, it really happened.
*Credit Crunch friendly alternative: Check the terms and conditions thoroughly before you go free roaming on any mobile broadband package. Stick to light surfing and e-mailing only when taking your dongle, Blackberry or 3G phone overseas.
6. Ditch your Oyster Card - Oyster cards, such a big blue plastic nuisance. Lose the oyster card for a week and buy one way paper tickets instead. Journeying from Camden Town to Oxford Circus and back will only cost you £8 a day.
*Credit Crunch friendly alternative: Use your Oyster to its full potential. Daily price capping means the Oyster card will calculate the cheapest possible price for your journey, plus it’s also worth remembering that bus rides are now only 90p.
7. Go to the movies, buy loads of popcorn – I love the movies, particularly mindless blockbusters and films where Eddie Murphy plays multiple characters. When I go to the movies, I like to get the biggest tub of popcorn, the biggest bucket of Tizer and the biggest bag of pick and mix I can lay my fat hands on. Total cost (including ticket): £25
*Credit Crunch friendly alternative: Bring some sandwiches, and take advantage of Orange Wednesdays if you’re an Orange mobile customer (two for one on cinema tickets).
8. Pay by Cheque – Cheques are time consuming to write, equally as time consuming to post, and costly for utilities companies and retailers to process. Pay by cheque and you’ll be offered zero incentives or discounts, making a total saving of…..nothing.
*Credit Crunch friendly alternative: Pay by direct debit. You’ll be offered discounts and flexible terms unavailable to those who pay by cheque.
9. Drink Champagne – Now that the Wimbledon lawn tennis championships are upon us, why not treat yourself to a fresh bottle of champagne for each day the tournament runs? 14 bottles of Louis Roederer should set you back £2940.
*Credit Crunch friendly alternative: Join a wine tasting club for as little as £5 per event.
10. Get a prepayment meter – Prepayment meter customers pay, on average, £285 more than those with standard tariffs for their yearly gas and electricity supply. If you’re really lucky, you’ll be hit with a bill for £90million, like this lady.
*Credit Crunch friendly alternative: British Gas has unveiled its online prepayment meter tariff which saves customers £70 a year on average. Those with prepayment meters should investigate whether they’re eligible for this tariff.
