You cannot be serious

Monday 7th July, 2008 - £8,850.98 in debt…

Welcome to the busiest week of my working life.

A few days ago, practically everyone I’ve ever worked for, worked with, or brushed past in the street, called to ask if I was free this week. What I heard was “Can we give you some money?”, and of course I said yes to all of them.

This has left me in something of a pickle.

As I had to have five hours off yesterday, to watch the greatest tennis match that has ever been played (and a further hour to calm down - while watching the highlights), I now have to work for 14 hours per day from now until Friday. At least.

Along with the eight hours I worked over the weekend, this makes it a 78-hour working week, which must contravene some sort of employment policy, but I’m self-employed so I tend to live on the wrong side of the law.

But, if I can make it through the week successfully - blogging in my lunchbreak, working in my sleep and thinking on the toilet - I’ll earn £791.30 after tax.

I’m just glad this has happened after Wimbledon and Rafa Nadal’s taking some time off. If anyone had asked me to miss one of his matches, I’d have laughed in their face.

   Sink your teeth into this…

Despite news of the credit crunch and talk of a global recession, it seems there is only one business that is fairy-ing well.

That’s right, the Tooth Fairy is proving to be one of the most successful business women of this year, and may even find herself in 2009’s Times’ Rich List. 

According to a survey, the generous little fairy, who once used to slip six pence pieces under the pillows of sleeping children who’d lost their milk teeth, now has a business worth millions of pounds. Definitely something Peter Jones wishes he’d invested in…

While parents roughly received 27p per tooth, their children are waking up to find an average of £1.05p waiting for them, according to savings experts, The Children’s Mutual. That’s more than a 500 per cent rise over 25 years.

It’s been calculated that youngsters today can profit from a total of £21 from their wobbly teeth – over 6 times what their parents would have got for theirs. For roughly one in twelve youngsters, losing 20 baby teeth between the ages of six and 11 could earn them more than £40.

And is it any wonder the averages are so high, when it’s reported that Wondermum and superior-being Angelina Jolie gives adopted son Maddox $50 for every tooth he loses, letting him spend the extremely generous payout on whatever he wants?

There is a silver-lining to this somewhat gappy tale however: children are being taught about how to look after their finances. The study found that seven in ten children talk about money and savings with their parents, 73 per cent have a piggy bank and 44 per cent of seven-year-olds play shopping games at home.

Although maybe not learning the true value of money, or about inflation rates, kids these days do seem to understand more about money matters. Only the other day did I witness a little girl, too small to reach the counter, trying to make a deposit into her Barclay’s account. She was probably saving the pound she’d received in exchange for a decaying little incisor…

As for Maddox Pitt/Jolie, it’s all very well giving the kid a fifty dollar bill for every tooth that “falls out”, but when he and his sisters start pulling all their little toothy-pegs out with pliers, I’m sure Angie will regret her “charitable” decision to give every child the same.

She’ll also be regretting not putting the money towards the dental treatment they’ll all need later on in life.

“Five for silver, and six for gold,” I wonder how magpies are getting on…

 Pet Insurance - Crucial

Friday 27th June, 2008 - £8,888.53 in debt…

Today is that magic day when I get my first paycheque from my part-time job, and I can stop restricting my spending to £20 a week. Or can I…?

I’ve come to a conclusion, of sorts, about budgeting: I like it. The main thing I’ve noticed while I’ve been restricting my spending is that it’s forcing me to think about my money differently.

I’m thinking about the money that leaves my account, and not the money that goes into it.

This is great! I realise I sound like a crazy person, but I’ve never thought about my money that way before – I’ve just gone out and spent it, usually after some deranged thought process that says I must spend it because I’ve earned it.

Despite my new-found zeal for controlled frugality, I’ve realised that I’ve been going about it in a stupid, stupid way. This week, I went over budget by £35.88.

As it turns out, £20 a week just isn’t realistic when you spend £70 a month on petrol (well, duh). Even trying to conserve my fuel as much as possible, I still have to get to work, go on mystery shopping assignments, visit elderly relatives, etc etc.

So I’ve decided to make a new plan: I’ve worked out exactly how much I have to spend per month on essentials, including petrol, and I’m giving myself another £15 a week for other stuff. Anything I earn beyond that amount is going on my Barclaycard, and I’m going to darn well keep track of it.

My essentials (rent, household bills, car and pet insurance, bank account fees and overdraft interest, food, credit card standing orders and petrol), plus my £15 a week budget, come to £933.72 in total – more than I expected, but the bank statement never lies.

So that’s how I’m going to budget from now on: £15 a week at the most, and every penny I earn over £933.72 is going on my biggest debt. Let’s see how long this one lasts.

 Olivia loved her new trampette…

Saturday 10th May, 2008 - £9.485.54 in debt…

This debt-paying-off malarkey isn’t all bad, you know. It’s not all about Economy tea bags and being beside oneself with fury. As it turns out, getting money for stuff on Ebay feels quite good.

On a scale of one to being in the front row of a Take That concert on the feel-good-ometer, I’d say it was about a seven.

Most of my listings have finished now, and I’m confident that I’ll be able to pay off the NatWest card when the money comes through. Here’s a breakdown of my successes and failures (Ebay-wise):

• About a third of my books and a few CDs didn’t sell, so I’ll re-list them next week.
• I got nearly £20 for a signed copy of a Mark Haddon book. That might not sound like much but, when I bought it, the shop was bursting with them. It’s probably rarer to find one he hasn’t scribbled on.
• The rest of the books and CDs went for anything from 99p to £7.10 each.
• A couple of rare-ish vinyl records went for about £25 each. Another one went for £18.

So far, that gives me a total of £112.57 (after listing fees and what-have-you). That’s about £10.50 short of my NatWest balance, but I still have one listing on the go, which I’m hoping will make another £30.

Unfortunately, that’s the lot. I have cleared my garage of everything that might be worth anything. Unless I can Ebay an old broom and a dead mouse…?