”Buttock Face” not included

Friday 18th July, 2008 - £8,810.98 in debt…

In two days’ time, I will be thrown into the most horrendous moral conundrum I’ve faced since I started paying my debts off. See, the Mail on Sunday is giving away a free copy of the new McFly album. My soul is in torment.

I love McFly. My life is made immeasurably better by their mere existence. I love their cheeky grins, their youthful exuberance, their optimism, their dogged insistence on using hair straighteners even though they’re boys… And I love the fact that one of them has a face like a buttock and nobody seems to mind.

If I were to compile a list of my top ten favourite things in the universe, McFly would easily be in the top half of that list. And, if I had to list the top two things I hate intensely, the Mail on Sunday would make the top half of that one.

The Mail on Sunday and Daily Mail represent everything McFly do not. Why they’ve formed such an unholy partnership this weekend is beyond me. The right-wing views are the least of it - it’s the misery that annoys me the most. The sheer, unrelenting, knee-jerk, disaster-mongering, panicked misery. They might as well call it the Harbinger of Doom on Sunday and tape free cyanide capsules to the front cover.

Normally, I’d rather stuff a copy of the Mail into my ear than buy it. But, if I ditched my principles and gag reflex for one day, I could get a copy of McFly’s brand new fourth (yes, fourth) studio album for only £1.50. At the moment, it’s on pre-order at Play.com for £8.95, so that’s a saving of £7.45. I’d be stupid not to.

But then.. can I bring myself to give my £1.50 to a corporation made up of what I consider the worst imaginable pondlife? I seriously hope not, but I guess I’ll find out on Sunday…