European Students with Backpacks - Cool

….particularly a Mr. M Ballack of Kensington, West London.

Ok, that’s quite enough of that; I obviously don’t want to labour the point (Chelsea 2 – Manchester United 1). It’s not just the Germans I’m enamoured by anyway; I’m quite keen on the Norwegians since last Tuesday.

Putting all football allegiances to one side just for a moment, I’ll tell you why I still love the Germans, and steadfastly refuse to switch from my current (German) energy supplier, E.on.

A blog posting on Times Online this weekend invited Times readers to leave feedback concerning their energy suppliers, a kind of ‘open forum’ if you will.

Perhaps they were expecting a few responses along the lines of ‘they keep coming to read my meter at pesky times’ or ‘I think I was slightly over-charged last quarter’, but what they got was fire and brimstone launched from the mouth of hell itself!

The first comment is quite ominously titled ‘WHY YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO BE A CUSTOMER OF EDF ENERGY’, all in capitals of course. The author of this post goes on to describe a horror story that visits inaccurate direct debits and shoddy customer service via a series of payment duplications. No energy supplier is perfect, but this consumer does seem to be especially cheesed off.

Ok, so if I’m a little down on EDF right now, how about npower? I’ve heard all the brouhaha surrounding allegations of an npower sales team miss-selling door to door, but that’s only one team, and the rest might be fair. So what sort of comments did they receive from their loyal servants yesterday? Well….

‘We unfortunately agreed to change to npower. This month I have received a statement from npower informing me that I owe them £706.00. We feel tricked.’

‘I found that they had charged me twice for almost the whole of one year’s supply of gas.’

‘I was recently approached by a salesman for npower in my local Woolworths. A promise of £100 pounds credit convinced me to switch and sign on the dotted line. Bad move. The wool had been pulled over my eyes.’

This is a sample of the more ‘polite’ comments. Let’s be honest, they don’t make for great reading. The revelation that npower reps stalk their local Woolworths looking for victims already bedazzled by cheap duvet covers is bad enough.

A number of other suppliers came in for criticism also, with Scottish Power accused of ‘appalling service’, British Gas lambasted for punishing Saver 7 customers, and Scottish & Southern scolded for blindly signing up new customers days before a planned price hike.

The most intense ire is reserved solely for npower though.

Having spent considerable time over the weekend sifting through a list of endless energy wrath, is it naïve of me to want to concentrate on the positives rather than the negatives?

I’d like to focus on all the aspects you find pleasing about your energy supplier. I’ll start the ball rolling with my own contribution to the Times debate this weekend:

‘E.on supplies me with concise and easy to understand billing information, and I’ve never had to take issue with a bill I’ve received. The direct debits come out of my account on a pre-ordained day, and I’ve just received my online ‘energy tracker’, which allows me to check my energy usage on a daily basis. Although they’re far from the cheapest in my area, I’m happy enough with the level of service to stick with them.’

It’s an honest account, and I’m aware that against a backdrop of fuel poverty and the credit crunch, I could be accused of focussing on trivial issues. But it’s my point of view on my energy supplier.

So how about yours? Does anyone have anything positive to say? Or are you all feeling right royally ripped-off at this moment in time?

Please let me know.

 The Germans - Wunderbar

Last week’s ‘revelation’ that door to door sales reps lie in order to snare your custom, reminded me of an exchange I had very recently with a representative of one of the big six energy suppliers.

To set the scene, it’s around 7:30 on a weekday evening. The part of the sales rep will be played by what I can only describe as a generic mobile phone shop employee; we’re talking pencil thin beard (which members of the bearded community would dismiss as purely cosmetic), inexcusably wide tie knot, haircut by David Bentley’s mum, Ted Baker loafers, the lot. I believe he was also sporting a chunky wrist bracelet.

The guy was a consummate pro, this is undeniable.

I’ll be appearing as myself.

Envisage if you will a typical North London doorstep…..

Ding-Dong

Clump Clump Clump…….

Door Opens

Me:  Listen mate, I’m halfway through Gossip Girl and you’re not going to believe what Serena Van Der Woodsen has just gone and done, so make it snappy yeah?

Rep:  Are you paying too much for your gas and electricity?

Me:  I think I’m paying about the going rate.

Rep:  Who’s your current provider?

Me:  It’s E.on.

Rep:  How do you feel about having your energy supplied by Germans?

Me:  Well….err….I….umm….what?

Rep:  Your energy supply comes from Germany, doesn’t that bother you?

Me:  What are you talking about? I love the Germans. One of my best friends is German, she’s from Gelsenkirchen. Do you know what town hall is in German?

Rep:  No.

Me:  Rathaus. It’s Rathaus.

Rep: ……………..so you don’t mind being ripped off by Germans then?

Me:  Germans are great. Michael Ballack is a nice man.

Rep:  He’s not a nice man.

Me:  How do you know? Have you ever even met him?

Rep:  No, but I met Nigel Winterburn at Luton Airport once and he wasn’t very nice. He wouldn’t sign my shirt because he said he was late for check-in.

Me:  So?

Rep:  Don’t get stroppy with me just because your gas and electricity is supplied by Germans!

Me:  Listen, do you have a mobile phone?

Rep:  Of course.

Me:  Who made it?

Rep:  Siemens

Me:  How do you feel about sponsoring a company that openly played an integral part in the construction of world war two concentration camps?

Rep:  It came free with the contract.

Me:  You’re missing the point.

Rep:  Do you want to switch energy provider?

Me:  No

SLAM

Now, I found his eagerness to press the button marked ‘xenophobia’ in order to snag a sale mildly distasteful, but the implication that Erwin Rommel himself mans a direct pipeline between Düsseldorf and my flat pushed me over the edge.

I’d love to know if anyone else has been subjected to tactics of this kind.

The moral of the story is: do not interrupt me when I’m watching Gossip Girl, even if it’s the Thursday night catch-up that I’ve seen once already.