Dunce

Friday 1st August, 2008 - £8,378.83 in debt…

Time goes so fast when you’re scrabbling around in the gutter for pennies and working 14-hour days, doesn’t it? I’m now at the end of my third month (or first quarter, in finance-speak), and here’s how it’s going.

I’m clapping my hands like a trained seal because…

1)    I’ve learned that the best way to pay off your debts is to work until your brain bleeds and earn lots of money. This month has been my best so far in terms of workload, and I should be able to shift more than £1000 to my credit cards in total once all the money comes through. I’ve paid £605 towards my debts this month, which reduces what I owe by £472.15 when you take the interest off.

2)    I saved £10 on my grocery shopping by visiting MySupermarket and then Asda. The Asda shopping experience was harrowing, to say the least, but I’m trying Morrison’s next month, which isn’t on MySupermarket but looks pretty cheap to me.

3)    I also saved £7.45 by getting McFly’s latest body of work, Radio:ACTIVE, free with Beelzebub’s latest body of work, the Mail on Sunday.

4)    I used the snowball calculator on Whatsthecost.com to help manage my debts better. It told me that, if I pay off £470 a month (including interest) in a particular order, I’ll clear my debt before my 30th birthday and save £650 in interest.

5)    I received a letter confirming that I’d opted out of the Barclays personal reserve. I already knew that I’d done this, but it’s nice to be acknowledged.

6)    I earned £118.50 mystery shopping for GfK, which is by far the nicest mystery shopping company I’ve worked for. It doesn’t bombard me with irrelevant emails, the jobs I’ve done are quick and easy, and it’s even paid for a lovely bowl of soup and a Cornish cream tea. Yum.

I’m slapping my forehead like a cartoon dunce because…

1)    I spent £52.80 on one weekend in Nottingham, buying things I wouldn’t normally buy because my companions didn’t know about my debts. This has made me think about confessing to everyone, but there’s a very good reason why I haven’t done this yet: I’m ashamed. That’s normal, right?

2)    What with temping up to five days a week, mystery shopping and disliking the idea of cabin fever, I’ve been filling up my car’s petrol tank every nine days on average. Because it’s a beautiful and tiny Daewoo Matiz, this only costs £35 a time, but it’s still about £46 per month over budget.

3)    Speaking of budget, I might have also bought a couple of McFly tickets. And a ticket to a theatre adaptation of my favourite Edward Gorey book. But that’s all – I swear. Oh, and a ticket for Blood Brothers starring one of the Nolans. I just can’t help myself.

4)    My eBay so-called “buyers” have been nothing but trouble, with four of them refusing to pay up. Hopefully I’ll be able to re-sell the stuff or settle on a good eBay alternative but, until then, I’ll wear a constant look of vague disgruntlement.

I’m jittering with anticipation because…

1)    I can’t yet be sure whether I did the right thing switching to an E.ON capped energy tariff - this will only be worthwhile if all the other energy bills in the country rise by more than about 10%, which looks likely but you never know.

2)    I’m not yet sure what kind of impact my bridesmaid duties are going to have on my finances. The next step is dress shopping with the other bridesmaid, who lives 40 miles away, and casually tossing around some hen-night ideas without sounding like I have a budget of £3.50.

Generally speaking, I can’t complain about how this month has gone. After last month’s disastrous performance, July’s sudden onslaught of evening work has given me a ‘get out of jail free’ card and got me back on track. And, although I can’t expect this level of work every month, at least I know that I can be trusted to put the extra money towards my debt when it does happen. Well, most of it anyway…

—

First quarter results:

Amount paid towards my debt so far: £1376.63 (average £458.88 per month)

Amount I’ve reduced my debt by, after interest: £1120.62

 Mr. Buck turns on the charm 

Saturday 21st June, 2008 - £8,920.19 in debt…

Don’t quote me on this, but I don’t think I’m on track to reduce my debt this month. Not by more than about… er… £100. This is £300 less than my absolute minimum if I’m going to repay the whole lot in two years.

“That’s not good enough! You are scum!” I hear you cry. And you’re right - I’m the lowest of the low. More revolting than an over-cooked brussels sprout floating in a bucket of sick. I can barely look at my own face in the mirror without slapping it.

I suppose you could say (if you were feeling generous) that I’ve done well not to get further into debt, given that I haven’t had a part-time job for the last few weeks. I’ve been plodding along with my freelance work, but it’s hard to put that money towards my debts if I’m not absolutely certain I’ll have enough to pay the rent at the end of the month. If you’re self-employed, you’ll know what I mean.

However (and here’s the bit where I actually feel proud of my otherwise worthless self), because I’ve been pretty much sticking to my weekly budgets, I’ve managed to keep afloat. I won’t be drowning in bank charges by the end of the month and, now that I’m temping three days a week, I’ll be getting a little paycheque every Friday.

My budget for June 20th to 26th will be £23.40 (as I underspent last week). So far i have spent £19.49 (groceries and a bottle of wine - BAD OLIVIA!), and therefore only have £3.91 remaining.

I don’t think that’s too bad, as long as I take a packed lunch to work every day. And only use my car to get to work and back. Or punish myself for this month’s poor performance by jogging to work. In heels.

Any ideas how I can stop myself ending the month on a horribly glum note? Without spending more than £3.91?

 Ice Cream - Budget Buster

Wednesday 11th June, 2008 - £8,920.19 in debt…

Budget for June 6th to 12th = £20

Spent = £21.53

Remaining =  -£1.53

Oops. My first week of so-called “budgeting” and I’ve failed. I’ve disappointed you, I’ve disappointed my bank balance but, most of all, I’ve disappointed myself. For the remainder of this afternoon, I’ll be sitting in a corner and thinking about what I’ve done.

It all started innocently enough - it was hot and I needed ice cream. It wasn’t a luxury purchase - I might have died without it.

Then my £10 voucher arrived so I had to pop into town to buy my Juno DVD. Unfortunately it was £3.97 over budget and parking was £1.10. On the plus side, while I was there I did some mystery shopping and earned myself a tenner.

Soon after, I got a call from Office Angels asking if I could register with them. You know the drill - do a couple of typing tests, balance a beach ball on my nose, donate some bone marrow. The usual. So that was another £2 to Plymouth City Council, which I imagine they’ll spend on decontaminating the car park.

So there you have it: Over budget by £1.53 and I can’t spend anything until Friday.

I’ve cancelled tonight’s planned cinema trip and invited a friend round to watch my new DVD instead. I should be earning brownie points for doing this sort of thing, but apparently I just have to be happy that I’m not spending anything. Whoopee.

 Housework? Cool. 

Tuesday 10th June, 2008 - £8,920.19 in debt…

First things first: I’m not temping this week. After an extended goose chase on Friday afternoon, I was eventually informed that the company in question didn’t need me any more. I had to phone my agency four times to learn this.

I’ve worked for agencies before, so I can’t say I was surprised, but the money would have come in handy. I could direct them towards this blog as an emotional blackmail ploy but, for that to work, they would have to have beating hearts in their chests rather than the bundles of offal and grit that clearly reside there. Not that I’m bitter.

Obviously this means that budgeting will be even more important in the coming weeks. So how’s it going?

Thanks for asking. It’s going like this:

Budget for June 6th to 12th = £20

Spent = £9.07

Remaining = £10.93

(By the way, if you want to budget without going the Spendaholics ‘cold turkey’ route, there’s a good budget calculator on the FSA website. It will tell you how much cash you’ve got at your disposal.)

Anyway, my method isn’t going too badly it seems. That £9 was spent at the pub on Saturday evening - a friend of mine suggested a pub far cheaper than our local, and I leapt on the idea like it was a lemon-filled Krispy Kreme. I also wangled a lift (and a drink or two, I think - can’t quite remember).

I’ve managed not to spend anything else at all, but that’s down to dumb luck really. Just before I instigated my budget regime, my boyfriend and I had stocked up our cupboards at Tesco and the petrol gauge in my car was looking pretty healthy.

If I’m still on this budget next time I’m out of food, petrol or hair dye, I might have to go on some sort of rampage. But, essentials aside, I’m enjoying a new-found appreciation for the cheaper things in life - sunny afternoons, housework and Doctor Who.

There are a couple of things I really need to buy at the moment - Juno on DVD, and a bathroom storage unit - but I’m biding my time until my Consumer Pulse vouchers come through. I hope any visitors to my house don’t expect to be impressed by a neatly-organised cosmetics collection before settling down to watch a distinctive and quirky comedy drama. They will be sorely disappointed.

 Now Now Grumpypants… 

Friday 6th June, 2008 - £8,920.19 in debt…

As I said in my monthly update extravaganza, I’ve discovered Consumer Pulse and it’s turning out to be a nice little pocket-money-spinner.

If you’re after money-making tips, please beware: You can only sign up if you get an invitation in the post. You might say this is rubbish and elitist (is it? …Probably not), but it makes me feel like a VIP so I don’t care what you think.

The site is run by TNS, which is apparently the UK’s leading market information group. “What’s a market information group?” I hear you ask. Well, apparently it’s something that provides “market measurement, analysis, insight and advice to national and multi-national companies”. Right-oh.

Anyway, I don’t really care who runs Consumer Pulse. It gives me money to spend on shiny things.

The set-up is this:

(1)   You register

(2)   You answer a few questions about your household

(3)   You get some points

(4)   Whenever you buy stuff, you answer questions about your purchases

(5)   You get more points

(6)   And what do points mean? Prizes! Yes, you then browse through the vouchers available (for high street shops like Waterstone’s and Next, holidays, restraurant meals, days out, etc), send off for one, and spend it. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Luckily, you can build up points really quickly. Register 20 purchases and you get £10 in vouchers. You also get the equivalent of £5 when you sign up, and more when you update your details. Every step is simple and clearly laid-out, and registering a purchase takes about 30 seconds.

This, along with the fact that I’m not getting paid for two weeks, has encouraged me to budget. If I can restrict myself to buying treats using vouchers from Consumer Pulse, surely I can seriously reduce my outgoings…?

In the style of Spendaholics, I’m giving myself £20 a week for the next two weeks. This is just for day-to-day things – my direct debits will still leave my bank account, but I’ll withdraw £20 today and next Friday, and that will be all my disposable cash.

If I find something I want to buy myself as a treat, I’ll try to cover it with a voucher. If that’s not possible, I won’t buy it.

This is going to be HORRIBLE.

 £163? On Milky Bars? Oh, alright then….

Friday 16th May, 2008 - £9,443.29 in debt…..

Imagine you’re having a quiet drink with Paris Hilton, discussing the usual things: make-up, pedicures and handbag-sized hounds. Suddenly, you throw in a question about particle physics: imagine the expression on her face.

Multiply all that confusion, panic, sadness and resentment by one million. That is exactly the expression I was wearing fifteen minutes ago, when I completed the budget planner from Martin Lewis’s website.

It’s not that the planner is hard to use – quite the opposite. The problem was that, when I got to the end, it told me that I was in a positive financial situation. In fact, at the end of an average month, I apparently have £163 left to spend on Milkybars or throw out of the window or whatever.

This is clearly not the case, so I went over it again with a couple of bank statements sitting next to me. And here’s where I realised why I am in so much debt: I just don’t notice the money going out of my account.

The edited highlights:

• I spend at least £20 a month more than I think I do in Boots.

• I think that my boyfriend and I spend £100 on food in a month, but the actual figure is closer to £200.

• And since when did anyone pay £150 a year to maintain an eight-year-old car? My last MOT bill was easily double that.

The fact that I don’t know what I’m doing with my money isn’t entirely unexpected. But the fact that I spend £235.15 more than I earn, EVERY SINGLE MONTH, was a very forceful punch in the face.

The moral of the story is: If you’re thinking about getting out of debt, given the current climate and what-have-you, download the budget planner from www.moneysavingexpert.com and prepare to be brutally honest.

It’s the first time I’ve ever taken a serious look at what I spend, and it’s been a huge eye-opener. Which is why, when the cheques for two of my Ebay sales cleared today, I transferred the £42.25 straight onto my NatWest card within seconds. And it’s also why I’m hyperventilating with panic.