We Y the credit crunch

After celebrating it’s first birthday last month, the evil that is the credit crunch, has proved it’s still as mean as ever, by wrecking relationships, ruining our bank holiday and raising the price on gap years for already cash-strapped students.

Forgive us if we don’t say many happy returns.

Being a bit of a girly girl, one who appreciates life’s little luxuries, having to cut back on things like buying expensive shampoo, making withdrawals from cash machines that charge, and splurges on ASOS.com, is not something that particularly fills me with joy. Having to walk for miles just to find an ATM machine that doesn’t charge £1.75 for withdrawing £10, is not only an inconvenience, but also highly annoying.

It needn’t be all doom and gloom however, especially for the ladies. As my (overly extensive) research shows, there are quite a few female-friendly pluses to come from a year of penny pinching and belt tightening.

Yes that’s right; the credit crunch is proving to be a positive for women the world over, for more than one high-heeled reason.

Here are my top ten reasons you girls should love and embrace the credit crunch for all it’s worth:

1. You’ll finally be able to kick your otherwise-incurable caffeine addiction, as being able to afford the luxury of a Starbucks (skinny) vanilla latte is now something you only dream of.
2. You’ll be able to circumnavigate awkward situations, since travelling costs so much; you’ll have a genuine excuse to avoid your weird cousin Emily’s wedding in the Dominican Republic.
3. And on the subject of weddings, as we’re all in the same boat, they’ll be no more week-long hen dos, so you can give your credit card, and liver, a well-earned break.
4. You won’t need to update your wardrobe with this season’s must-haves, as vintage is the new chic.
5. The cost of eating out is enough to make you suddenly lose your appetite, so you’ll be looking great in your skinny jeans.
6. There’s no need to pull a sickie, because the credit crunch can now be used as a legitimate reason to take a day off work ill.
7. The waiting list for a handmade Chloé handbag will now be a lot shorter. You’re now customer order 34,642… You should have that bag by the time you’re 92.
8. Supermarkets are officially the new Selfridges. Where else can you get a cashmere jumper, a can of cat food, an energy saving light bulb and a newspaper, and still have change from a tenner?
9. Skint and stuck at home, you’ll have more time to do all those things that you’ve been meaning to do but never quite got around to, like setting up an online bank account, so you can monitor your finances more carefully.
10. And, if worse comes to worse, you can cancel your gym membership without feeling guilty, as running from creditors will burn calories without having to pay £45 a month.

And men, if your wife/girlfriend/other half moans about times being tough I permit you to use one, or all of the reasons above as a polite way of telling her to shut up. Just remember to say “but darling…” in your nicest voice first!